Capacity Equals Power: The Core Skill of Existential Kink (EK) and Shadow Alchemy
One of the deepest misunderstandings about power is that it looks like force.
In Shadow Alchemy, power looks like capacity.
Capacity to stay.
Capacity to feel.
Capacity to remain present with sensation without collapsing, fixing, fleeing, or performing.
This is one of the core skills beneath Existential Kink:
The ability to hold charge.
To approve what arises.
To stop leaking sensation through avoidance.
Capacity equals power.
What “Capacity” Means in Shadow Work
Capacity is nervous-system containment.
It is the ability to be with reality as it is:
pleasure
discomfort
longing
intensity
shame
desire
grief
erotic charge
Most people unconsciously contract around sensation.
They rush to explain it.
They soothe it away.
They fix it.
But Shadow Alchemy asks something different:
Can you increase your capacity to stay present?
That is integration.
EK Is Not About Storytelling. It Is About Holding Sensation
Many people treat Existential Kink as a mental exercise:
Find the trigger.
Find the hidden desire.
Make a clever narrative.
But the deeper practice is simpler and harder:
Hold the sensation underneath the story.
Approval is not an intellectual agreement.
It is a somatic inclusion.
EK becomes real when the body stops flinching.
Where We Lose Capacity
Notice the moments you “leak” sensation:
you laugh when you feel shame
you comfort when intensity arises
you over-explain instead of feeling
you dissociate into distraction
you become moral instead of intimate
you collapse into caretaking
you rush to resolution
These are not character flaws.
They are nervous-system strategies.
Shadow Alchemy trains the opposite:
Presence without escape.
A Capacity Practice (Try This)
This is a simple Shadow Alchemy training for building containment.
Step 1: Find One Sensation
Right now, locate one real sensation in your body:
tightness
warmth
buzzing
heaviness
flutter
Choose what is true, not what is dramatic.
Step 2: Stay for 90 Seconds
Do nothing.
No fixing.
No interpretation.
No story.
Just stay.
This is capacity.
Step 3: Offer Radical Approval
Say inwardly:
“Yes.”
“This belongs.”
“This is allowed to exist.”
Approval is nervous-system permission.
Step 4: Notice the Expansion
Often, capacity grows quietly:
breath returns
urgency softens
emotion moves
presence deepens
You become larger than the sensation.
That is power.
Capacity Is Leadership (In Life and In Relationship)
This is not only personal.
Capacity is relational.
The person with the most capacity in the room sets the tone.
Not through dominance.
Through steadiness.
When you can hold intensity without flinching, you become trustworthy to yourself and others.
This is why Shadow Alchemy is not just “shadow work.”
It is spiritual adulthood.
Why Capacity Creates Freedom
Projection decreases when capacity increases.
Compulsion decreases when approval increases.
The nervous system stops needing enemies, stories, distractions.
Existential Kink becomes embodied:
The unconscious is no longer exiled.
It is included.
That inclusion is liberation.
Return to the Shadow Alchemy Hub
New here?
Start with Lucy Baldwin’s complete Shadow Alchemy overview for readers of Existential Kink and EK-style erotic shadow integration
Frequently Asked Questions (Capacity and EK)
What does “capacity equals power” mean?
It means real power is the ability to stay present with sensation, intensity, and desire without avoidance. Capacity is nervous-system containment.
How is this related to Existential Kink?
EK is fundamentally about radical approval of unconscious charge. That requires capacity to feel what arises somatically, not just narratively.
Is capacity the same as emotional regulation?
Related, but deeper. Capacity is not suppression. It is inclusion: the ability to hold sensation without exile.
How do I build capacity?
Through small, consistent practices of staying with sensation, offering radical approval, and letting the nervous system expand over time.
Next Steps: Enter DOMINION
If this teaching feels real, you are ready for the deeper field.
Shadow Alchemy is not a one-time insight.
It is capacity built over time, through radical approval, embodiment, and honest community.
That is what DOMINION: A Field of Radical Approval is for.
DOMINION is Lucy Baldwin’s EK-themed community for people who want to practice real integration:
radical approval without performance
somatic EK practices that expand capacity
erotic shadow work beyond purity
desire and taboo metabolized into freedom
the end of exile